Loving my kids....

I sit here tonight watching Bella playing & using her vivid imagination.  Earlier tonight she was testing her limits with me & I find myself remembering that she's only 3.  She's just learning her way in this crazy world.  She is innocent to all of the ins and outs of social life.  What I wouldn't give sometimes to be just like she is.  No real cares in the world but playing, laughing, & loving everything.  Seeing the world through her eyes gives me hope when sometimes my hope is dying.

This world we live in today is so ugly so much of the time.  Between politics, natural disasters, & the evil that lurks around the corner; it's a wonder sometimes that we step outside our front doors.  It's times like the Las Vegas shooting, the Hurricane hitting Aransas Pass & Houston, the wildfires in California, that make you want to hole up with your kids & shut away the world.  

I find that on weekends when I don't have to go to work, I tend to stay away from the news channels & most of social media so I can just be with my family.  To just pretend for a little while that all is perfect & innocent in this world.  It also helps me remember that we need to pray.  That we really need to bring God back into our lives more and more.

When I listen to the struggles Caitlin has with her college classes & trying to be an adult, when I listen to Gabby living her last year of High School, and when I watch Bella learning new tricks in gymnastics that I pray that somehow this world will get better for them.  That someway we will learn not to be so divided & to start loving each other more.

We could all learn something from our toddlers.  We could learn that it's ok to hug someone just because.  That it's o.k. to smile & to be friends with anyone.  To erase the lines that seem to separate us.  There is no black, white, brown, yellow, Democrat, Republican, Independent, or anything to a toddler.  They just see another friend to play with & to learn with.  Maybe, just maybe we all need to learn that.  

We are all on this planet for a reason.  It is not our plan but the plan of someone much greater than all of us.  His plan is not always clear to us but we need to open our hearts & our minds to Him.  We need to look past all of the bull in this world and pray.  We need to let God back into our homes, our schools, our workplace, & our hearts.  Then we can be like those toddlers that love everyone.

We need to give more than we receive....  

Life gets in the way....

Well, it's been a looonnnngggg time since I last posted but life got in the way of me typing on the computer to write on this blog.  Life gets in the way of the many things that I swear I'm going to do, need to do, or want to do.  But, that's o.k.  I think that's just God's way of telling us "Hello! This is MY way".

Our family has been through many ups & downs that have brought more gray hairs to my head but every one of them is earned.  No, I don't love every one of those gray hairs but it is a life lesson or moment that needed to be experienced.  I know that I have many more that are coming my way.

Recently, my step-daugher, son-in-law, & grandson have moved in with us.  This is a temporary situation that has 8 of us (sometimes 9) living in a 3 bedroom, 1 1/2 bathroom home.  It's an adjustment for us all because we already had our own routines & comforts so now we are having to readjust those.  Yes, this brings a lot of stress but it's those times like yesterday evening, when it brings smiles, laughter, & family togetherness.  Those are the times that I will always treasure.

Every life has it's trials & tribulations.  I in no means believe that mine is the worst nor do I believe that it is the best.  It is the life that God gave me to live.  There are moments of humor, sadness, anger, grief, & joy.  It is how we handle these situations that bring us through them.  I am trying my best to handle them with God at the head of them, love in my heart, & humor.

So, the next time the kids are rowdy & driving me nuts, I will try to look to the heavens & ask God (for the hundredth time) "What did I do to deserve this?"  LOL!  God knows what we can handle & what we cannot.  He never gives us more than He knows we can handle with His help.  So, please, face your day with God at the head, love in your heart, & humor in mind.  Maybe that will help all of us keep from having a few more gray hairs.

May God bless you & be at your side.

Venting....

I've found myself on the defensive lately.  I don't know if hormones, lack of sleep, stress, or a combination of these. I realize that social media is growing more & more a part of our every day lives. I just feel that sometimes we all need to take an extra minute or two before we hit that post button when we write a status or comment.  We all need time to engage our brains before we post something that we may unknowingly hurt or offend someone with.  Yes, I do believe in freedom of speech but I also know that if someone posts something that I don't want to read or don't like, I can ignore it or block it instead of making disparaging remarks for everyone to see.

What set me off at first may or may not have been aimed at me but at the time, I took it personal.  A friend had posted something as innocent as "gee, we know you have a baby but can't you save the pictures for special occassions".  It made me state the following:

Feel like I need to put in my two cents this morning & It may be because of lack of sleep from being in the e.r. last night with a sick baby but here goes. Yes, I post a lot of pictures of my baby that aren't just for "special occassions" as some would say. But to me, every moment of Bella's life is special to me. Especially since we lost her big brother/sister in 2009 at 4 months of pregnancy. We also almost lost Bella at the beginning of our pregnancy. So to me, every moment is a special occasion. If you don't want to see pictures of my baby or read about what's going on with her, then don't follow me, unfriend me, or block me because I don't care. Every moment of every Child's life should be cherished & should be special. Every one of my children's lives is to me.

That was just the beginning of my tirade for Facebook.  Next came when I saw a really good friend having to post on the defensive explaining why she was posting about celebrating the birthday of her son who passed away 2 years ago at the age of 1 year & 10 months.  I wanted to scream at the person who made her have to defend her posts.  

If people would just stop for a minute & try to put themselves outside of their own world & try to think about the other person, maybe, just maybe they wouldn't hurt someone.  I cannot begin to imagine the pain that my friend has been through with the loss of her son.  To have held him & watched him grow to lose him so young & unexpectedly.  I think she has more than every right in the world to throw a birthday party & share the experience with the world.  I applaud her for doing so.

I think that every child is precious whether it is born alive or not.  Those that have not suffered child loss, count yourself extremely blessed.  Sometimes, people don't even think about how parents that have suffered miscarriages are just as devastated as the ones that lose a child after birth.  When you are a parent, a true parent, any loss of a child that you love is devastating.  

I can't help but stop every once in a while to think what my baby would have been like had he/she lived.  That child would be almost 5.  I remember the milestones I experienced with Caitlin & Gabby.  I think of the ones that we are having now with Bella.  I miss all of those that we could have had with our angel baby.  

So, next time you start to write or comment on a post, please take a few minutes to really think about the person you are commenting on or writing about.  Everyone is going through something in their lives & it's not always sunshine & rainbows.

Baby tears & parental fears

Over a week ago we spent the night in the emergency room with our sick baby. We probably could have just dosed her with Tylenol & Advil but her Daddy decided we needed to go ahead to the e.r. Over 4 hours later they diagnose respiratory infection & gave her Tylenol.  Emergency rooms definitely have there uses but sometimes I think the doctors get a little disconnected because they so many different patients in a shift.
The next day we went on to see her doctor. There was an addition to the diagnosis.  Ulcers in the back if her throat along with the respiratory infection & fever. Poor baby was also breaking out with a rash. More medicine, needing to watch her fluids, & staying at home with my baby.
I can't help but compare the care we receive from Dr. Duchamp to the care we receive from the e.r.  Unfortunately we ate losing Dr. Duchamp.  She is moving to the Dallas/ Ft. Worth area & not really going to practice anymore due to the new regulations with Obama Care. The new regulations mean that doctors will have to see a patient every 7 minutes & won't get to establish a real relationship with their patients. Real care & understanding are going to be lost. I worry that we won't find another doctor that can take as good of care of our kids as what we found with Dr. Duchamp & Dr. Macik. 
This week has been tough dealing with Bella's illness & her tears. The tears kill me the most. You know they are hurting & all you want to do is take the pain away. No matter how old my children are, I will always worry when they hurt & I will always want to dry their tears.
Parenting isn't easy but it's what I've always wanted to do. So, I will take the grey hairs & possible hair loss any day as long as I have my kids.

WTH???

Ever have one of those experiences when you wonder how something so small made such a big mess?  Well, we had a doozy this week.  I went to pick up Bella from daycare the other day & we had to make a stop at the local grocery store.  Unfortunately our progress to the store was halted by the lovely train that runs through town.

As we were waiting on the train, I noticed a smell coming from the general area of Miss Bella.  I thought nothing of it.  The kiddo is in diapers everything should be fine. Was I ever wrong.

What did I do?

Bella & I pulled into the parking lot of the community store with a not so lovely aroma coming from the back seat.  I walk around my van to her door, open the door, & OMG!!! My poor baby's diaper EXPLODED.  That's the only way I can explain it.  She had poop all over her.  She had even dropped her pacifier in it & then returned it to her mouth to my complete & utter horror.
  

Thank God for baby wipes.  I learned a long time ago that no matter what age any one is in your household it does not hurt to carry baby wipes in your car.  So, the angels were smiling on me that I had a brand new package in the car. 

I wiped Bella down the best I could before moving her from her carseat to her changing pad in the back of the van.  My poor baby was so confused about what was going on & upset too.  Needless to say, baby girl visited the store in just her diaper (after I cleaned her thoroughly).  It took almost 1/2 a package of baby wipes to clean her & her carseat.

All I can say is that this was the worst diaper experience I have ever had in my 40+ years (o.k. not counting when I was in diapers).  I just hope (praying here) that I never have an experience like that again.  Please??

Here's my foot Mom!

Do YOU need a bottle of the house white?

I'm an ATM or at least it feels that way....

Well, the long days of summer have started.  How I wish I had a summer break!!  Yet, it's to work I go as I drop Bella off at daycare while Caitlin & Gabby have different activities for the summer.  Those different activities all come with a dollar sign.  Plus, seeing what the boys are up to for the summer too.

We had a big milestone.  Bradley graduated high school.  Still can't believe that possible.  I still see the cute, freckle face little kid that I met when his Dad & I got together.  Now, he's a hard working young man who already has his own place & his own life.  Sniff!  He needs to come visit more.

Yes, that's Bradley (as seen from the nosebleed section).

We have the cheerleader who lives & breathes cheer aka Gabby.  She will be a High School cheerleader this year so that's a whole new ball game.  Mom needs a money tree in the back yard to help. LOL!  Honestly, it's not that bad, it just feels like it sometimes.  It's, "hey, mom, I need a new sports bra", "mom, I have to get a buddy gift", "Mom, I need sheets for camp".  Geez!! Not only am I an ATM, I need to be a time traveler.  There is never enough time in the day to run the errands, work full-time, be a Mom, & be sane.  So, I've decided insanity works for me. :)

My cheerleader

Next, we have the teenager that is more comfortable with her cell phone, the TV, the Kindle Fire, or a book than she is with leaving the house.  We have 30 hours of parent assisted driving to attend to before she can get her license.  Is it weird to say that I REALLY want her to get her license?  Then, someone else can run some errands. ;)  Honestly, Caitlin is my dreamer & doesn't rock the boat much.  She hasn't asked for much except the money for summer basketball league.  Next, it will probably be for some new basketball shorts or shoes but that's o.k.

Caitlin with her best friend

Mikey is an active young man.  He's usually busy with his friends when he doesn't come to visit us.  When he is with us, he always wants to be doing something.  He loves basketball, football, & swimming.  At least we almost have the pool ready at the house now.

Mikey

Bella-boo is a new adventure every day.  She likes to bounce & I don't mean on her hiney.  I guess that means it's time for a new baby toy.  One that she can play & bounce at the same time & not while Mommy's trying to hold her. Now if we can master sitting up by ourselves & possibly getting the belly off the floor to crawl we will be on a roll.  No, I don't want her to grow up too fast because these little moments are the best to enjoy.

Bella

No matter how much they pull me different directions, I truly cherish every minute with all of my kids.  I don't want to miss a thing & honestly, I wish I was an ATM so that I could give them what they want (within moderation).  So, I will continue to work & spend every chance I can with them.

All the kids after Bradley's graduation

Gabby, Caitlin, Bradley, & Mikey

Insanity is the way my world turns

For those parents out there that have teenagers living in their homes, I feel for you!  I understand the grey hair & the hair loss!!!  How about teenagers & then babies?  Another cause for hair loss (or at least a check for loss of sanity).  I'm just kidding!  I absolutely LOVE being a Mom & grandma.  Even when I am running several different places for things for the kids, working a crazy full-time job, trying to clean house, going to church, spending time with ALL of the family, or just staying home.  I know that in so many ways God has truly blessed my life.

There are two teenage girls in my house & they make things interesting.  Needless to say, I now know how much of a saint my mother was to put up with my sister, my brother, & I as we were growing up.  Though I don't think bombing my sister with stuffed animals is as bad as the wrestling matches that my 14 year old & 16 year old sometimes have in the kitchen for "fun".  There are days when I wish the house fairy would come to our house & not only clean it (PLEASE) but make an extra bedroom so that my girls wouldn't have to share anymore.

Do you know what it's like when you have teenage girls with different personalities & habits sharing a living space??  This is the stuff of world wars, people!  One daughter is laid back & easy going.  She doesn't care if her stuff is wrinkled, piled in a corner (to the dismay & dislike of her Mom).  The other daughter likes organization & making a statement.  Sometimes wish that statement wasn't "Mom, I'm going to kill her!" or "Mom, I can't wait till she moves out!!"  Believe me, there is a long conversation about how in the end all you have is family yet, there is still the belief that hey, maybe they were switched at birth.  

I know that my daughters love each other yet they still want to kill each other.  Thank goodness their baby sister hasn't shown any reason for wanting to kill anyone or to invoke wishes of death to her.  Instead it's more that they want to kiss her & hug her to death.  I guess God decided I had enough drama with the first two that He decided the baby would be so sweet & mild mannered to give me a break. :)  

Honestly, I would go to the ends of the earth for any of my kids (ANY).  Now, pass the wine & the hair dye so I can sleep to face another day!!!  LOL!